Striving for Perfection & Leaving Things Behind

In 2017 I have: learned how to drive, learned how to swim, put my finger in a splint snorkeling in Maui (where I swam with real live turtles!!), made grown men cower in fear at the sight of me, caught snowflakes with my tongue in Montreal, saw all of my favorite musicians live (Avenged Sevenfold, Fall Out Boy, The Used, HIM, and Ludovico Einaudi), learned how to avoid giving people Legionnaires’ Disease and to maintain large building heating and cooling systems, racked up a $2170 hospital bill (AFTER insurance), self-published some of my fiction on the internet for anyone to see, drank sketchy horse milk vodka…

Oh, and I quit my job.

It was a wild year. I laughed a lot and smiled a lot and learned a lot. I got to like myself a lot. (No really, 2017 was a very strong year for me, comedy-wise.)

And as I embark on a new year with new goals and new dreams, I remember what I am leaving behind (my comfortable, stable, boring, no longer challenging job with people that I probably know better than my own blood relatives). I see sadness reach the eyes of people I’ve looked up to, and I feel a pull of regret (and comfort and fear) that makes me want to take it all back. And stop time. Stop moving. Stop striving.

The best and worst thing about being a perfectionist and adventurous is that the strive for perfection (and thirst for adventure) makes you leave things behind. In constantly reaching higher and farther, you lose safe, known ground.

I don’t anything about my prospective field that I am going enter into in a week (a creative agency). I know people and that’s what they’ve hired me for, but anything else? Nope. However I’m great at what I do, and part of my charm is being able to adapt, learn fast, and excel. When I told the guys I was leaving, someone remarked that they were surprised that I had only been doing this two years. It seemed like five or six. I picked up on the security access system faster than any other person he has trained, and I am better than most.

“What are we going to do without you?”

There is a giant universe of things that I don’t know, don’t know that I don’t know, have never seen, and can’t even imagine. There is so much time and so little time at once for shit that I didn’t even know I wanted to do.

So here is my list of goals for 2018, in addition to picking up some new skills and working towards perfection in my latest adventure:

  1. Make my heart happy and healthy. (No really, cardio health is important.)
  2. Publish two books.
  3. Master the tarot so it stops calling me out every time I pick up a deck.
  4. Develop a mini comic series of my shenanigans.
  5. Blog a series. Once a month, twice a month, something chronic.
  6. Be mindful and present!!!! (I lost too many things and broke too many things and fucked up too many things because I didn’t stop to think and pay attention to what I am doing.)
  7. Learn a new language or suck less at one I already know. (I scoffed as I typed this.)

I make a million lists of shit to do and push myself into the unknown because how else would I know what I am capable of if I didn’t?

Strive on, readers, and tell me your goals for 2018. Also, have you ever made a total career switch? Did it pan out?

[The featured image for this blog is Cosmic Ice Sculptures captured by Hubble from NASA because I like space.]

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